just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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