I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
