You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
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