who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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