you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I wear drunk well.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
