There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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