so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He has the fingertips of a God
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
