This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
