We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
