He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i think i have two assholes
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
