Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
