didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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