She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
