I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
