You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
