Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
