That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
