I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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