I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
