so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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