Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
