i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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