some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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