I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
that's an acceptable place to lick
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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