and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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