i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
