I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
