she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
im about as happy as oj after his trial
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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