Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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