guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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