my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
