i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
