I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
