Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
