wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
