Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
