he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
