i already hear my dad disowning me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
worst night to have a conscience
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
