so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
