I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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