I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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