Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
