think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
