There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
