Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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