i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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