my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
