Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
