Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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