yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
