i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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