Don't EVER smell your tampon
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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