Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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