I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
