so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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