"it" just moved
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
