Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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