remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
