Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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