bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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