OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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