Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
